Incandescent

For Chrissakes, I guess I should update. I've kind of been putting it off repeatedly because I didn't and still don't really want to recount the events of the past 6 million years, also known as the time I have not been on eljay. (Is it still called eljay? Has it regressed to LJ again?) I'm sure you're appropriately politely interested in the said 6 million years but I hope it will suffice to tell you that they were exceedingly good, actually; the end.

I um...hope your holidays were all good. Sincerely. Though I obviously can't do much but make hypothetical sympathetic noises if they weren't.

In other news, I got these chocolate espresso beans (chocolate-covered espresso beans, that is) from Starbucks for Christmas and they are EARTHSHATTERINGLY good, and they keep me awake, for extra points. If they are still being sold, you should definitely check them out. I am eating them now.

I think the ultimate reason I decided to post today is that I have the bio test from HELL this Friday and I am procrastinating (many things have changed since my last post but my procrastination is not one of them)...it's the unit on diversity. It is 195 pages in length and covers seemingly everything from the presumed origins of life to lovely Homo sapiens. Including many things that don't exist anymore. It's actually kind of obnoxious, though their renderings of these prehistoric creatures are somewhat amusing. My friend had a dream that a particularly odd one (apparently named Anomalocaris and described as 'large animal with hooked claws') that lived during the Cambrian period was her cousin. It sounded pretty scary.

I'm pleased and surprised that no one defriended me(!) I probably would have. Well no, because I enjoy having a moderately robust friends list. But if I were less self-absorbed, I probably would have.

I'll go read about your lives now.

asasdfkjskha! So much time has passed since my last entry that I'm sure my entire existence has essentially passed into myth.

Still surviving. Isn't that nice?

OMGOMG we have internet today!

If you were wondering, I'm in music camp right now, and they told us that we wouldn't have any internet, so I was naturally about to die, but it's all right...we have it today. I don't know whether this is an every day thing, or if it's just for today, but in any case....I feel connected to civilization once more.

I'm in Indiana University. I kind of don't like it here, actually...Kansas was better, if you'll believe it. It's a piano camp, if you were wondering. They have a bunch of really, really lame, stupid rules, like how you can't go anywhere without at least 2 other people who MUST BE FROM THE SAME PIANO CAMP. No string players, either, as they are only subhuman and therefore not worthy. And there are about a dozen more of those...two dozen.

But whatever; other than that, it seems to be all right. I haven't actually learned anything yet, but I suppose it's only the second day, so, I'll wait and be patient and see.

In the meantime, though, I am REMEMBERING THE FUG.

xDDD

THE CHEM FINAL OF DOOM IS OVER.

That's all we'll say for now. The best part of it is definitely that it's over. I knew about 2 of the 103924820398 questions, and everyone last year (which was the ridiculously smart class...they have 15 national merit scholars, dammit) got 60%s and below....Fortunately there is a curve. A really big curve, I hope, as I hope/expect to get an A in that stupid class. I will say this now: I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, ETC., TAKE ANOTHER CHEMISTRY COURSE. YOU HAVE MY WORD. I PROMISE.

Haha.

Well, now, tomorrow I just have my Calc final and Jane Austen... which is comparative, and OPEN BOOK, which sucks since it means we actually have to cite quotes and stuff in our "medium-sized essays" (there will be three. Oh the horror). At least it's Jane Austen and not Tolstoy or something else ridiculously long. Though Emma is pretty hefty. But anyway...I love the books and I shouldn't be complaining.

But I am.

Calc will be kind of a joke, though, as it's only a chapter test over 4 sections...NO cumulative crap for math, because my teacher actually has a heart (and a brain)! How fortunate for me. I actually like Calc. Shut up.

In addition to studying for that tonight, I have to write a paper on Pride and Prejudice. No, I still haven't done that...haha. My procrastination skills are quite staggering.

xD! School is ALMOST. OVER. OMGZ. I CANNOT WAIT! I have senioritis and I'm a sophomore. Hee.

[edit] Gosh, eljay was completely freaking out on me for a second there and I was about to scream and tear my hair out, because I am THAT tired (especially after dance...I HAVE NEW POINTE SHOES! I failed to mention that. They're very pretty. But they're already dirty...after only one class! ;.;) and also THAT HOT. It is very HOT here...I neglected to mention that as well. Is ridiculous. Feel like each molecule of water is being meticulously sucked up by the air...which, by the way, is very humid itself, so I guess that analogy doesn't make sense. That's what I get for trying to be poetic, I guess xD.

WHY CAN'T I CHANGE MY JOURNAL'S TITLE? IS ANYONE ELSE HAVING THIS PROBLEM? ARGH. *tears out hair*

[[yeah...I'm not actually that mad about it, I just kind of wanted to use the capslock since it's been a while.]]

1. Am off dance this week. This means that am getting unspeakably fat, especially with my new obsession with unsalted macademia nuts. Yes, I know that's weird, and yes, they really are good. You should check it out sometime.
2. Have an unspeakable amount of Chemistry homework this weekend, which is kind of understandable, since I have one more day of school left, and then finals, and I haven't really been doing anything at all in that class. Yeah.
3. JA paper to write - Pride and Prejudice, no less - and I should be happy about it because the teacher seems to like my papers and P&P is pretty much my favorite book ever...I even made icons for the movie when it came out and I hadn't made icons in about 200 years. The thing is...the thing is...I'm afraid my paper won't measure up or something. It must be an astounding work of staggering genius, considering my subject matter, but I don't even know what my thesis will be and I can't think of anything, really. Suggestions? Haha.
4. Am supposedly doing chamber music at Tanglewood (which is a music camp, btw) this summer. Never done. Never planned to do. But this lady called and apparently flattery will get you anywhere, because she said something sketch about how not everyone gets asked to do chamber music and I was like hell yes okay. So that's that.
5. SINCE LAST ENTRY HAVE WATCHED LOST SEASON FINALE. OMGZ. NO WORDS. Although it wasn't very finale-ish...in fact, it answered surprisingly few questions, and by few I mean like ONE. But it's okay because it was still really really amazing, of course. Plus shirtless boys and more Desmond, who is among my loves! Nice.
6. Um I think that's it.

[edit] you know I would do "lmfao the mood pic" but right now they kind of suck. Anyone feel like giving me a paid account? ;.;

In the last year or so since my last entry, nothing of great significance has happened. I was in another play, this time written by this senior who goes to our school, under the PSEUDONYM D.K. Williams, which was fashioned from the names of his favorite authors. Nice. Well, this play, called Semantic Revelations, was kind of hilarious. I mean, we first got the script, and were like "WHAT THE HELL." because half of the entire play - or maybe three quarters - is just the question "What?". The play is a play about how people talk, apparently. The audience seemed to like it though, no matter how ridiculous we thought it was...I mean, they laughed a lot and it was a funny play - that's good, right? Haha.

Actually, once we had gotten into performance time, the play started to grow on me as well, I have to admit. But in the beginning? hah. Although we only did rehearse for like a total of 6 hours, no joke, so...maybe that was why?

In other news, I am in pretty much NONE of my dances. ;.; This is because of the various plays I've been doing and their inconvenient timing since they were during those classes in which the dances were being CHOREOGRAPHED, so instead of having like 4 solos, which I would have had, I have 0. Nice.

And my Chem and Math grades are kind of hilarious too.

Well. And my mood pic set has died. (MAJOR SADNESS!)
But I shall find a new one tonight, fear not. Tiff's journal will regain its former glory.

Oh yeah, and Ria is pretty much my favorite thing ever. ♥

I don't know why all my eljay entries are so melancholy...alllll the time.... I'm usually a really happy person. Maybe something about eljay depresses me? Could be this mounting pile of flist that I should be going through and also the very very small amount of posting that I do, which is, of course, not so good. Hee. At least it's easily fixed. But you guys should know that I'm not actually very sad at all, although I maybe am a bit melodramatic. But then again, I guess a lot of people are. The internet really is deceiving. Dear, oh dear. haha. xD

I'm feeling really lame.
Maybe it's time to go to sleep.
Tanglewood is really hardcore about stupid things.
Really tired.
Lab still unfinished. (indefinitely?)
L'Enfant Noir aka THE BLACK CHILD is an unbearably stupid book. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Might switch to Dayton Ballet, as is more competent.
Why am I writing my entry like this?
I don't know.
Cradle cast party today but didn't go; didn't have a ride.
Wish I could drive.

lmfao the nonexistent!mood pic, ;.;, I should really do something about that. After all, what's Tiff's eljay without the moodpics?

The authorit-ays of my school apparently have nothing better to do than to block websites so that they cannot be accessed (imagine that) by the school computers. They have so far blocked myspace, xanga, and facebook. Not eljay, though! And not friendster, though I don't know if anyone from this school is actually on there. Our school is becoming so hardcore, and not in a good way. Things are being stolen, apparently, so they're thinking of putting security cameras in the locker area (have I mentioned that some lockers are in the bathroom? let's not go there.) They're also thinking of punishing people for speeding around the school area. What's next - suspension for getting a ticket? I suppose that one advantage of my still being 15 and therefore not being able to drive (ew) is that I don't have to worry about that [[yet]].

I have decided that 4th period, which I have free, is the worst period of the day. And by worst, I mean EFFING BORING. I therefore post my quindecennial eljay entry.

What I probably should be doing right now is my Chem lab report, but I don't feel like it (obviously). Any of you know what Beer's Law is? Wikipedia is my friend, although I don't think I can legitimately cite that as my Chem teacher is somewhat of a hater.

Okay, I think I'll go flist now.

lmfao the mood pic!
[edit]:NO! MY MOOD THEME IS NOT WORKING! THIS IS A CRISIS INDEED! WHAT SHOULD MY NEXT ONE BE?

[edit2] Oh! Oh! I didn't mention that I got into the Boston University's Tanglewood Institute piano camp thingy as well as that of Indiana University. Rawwk. So yes, that's what I, like a good little geek, will be spending my summer doing. How nice. xD Oh, and on the same subject of geekiness, I took my first AP yesterday! AP French. Effing easy. You should all take it. Ego stroke, you know? haha. xD

I'll post quickly before I change my mind.

I'm so irrationally afraid to come back on here, because first, so much has happened since my last post and I don't know how I'll be able to catch up, and second, the amount of flisting I have to do is absolutely ridiculous.

Hah!

But, I'm back, sort of. I'll try, I really will.


Anyway. In recent news, I pulled something in my left arch, so I haven't been able to go to dance. This makes me unaccountably sad. ;.; my poor foot. Don't you feel sorry for my foot?

When was my last post, anyway? Well, anyway, Immersion is over, we had our highly acclaimed performance of The Cradle Will Rock in which I played Mrs. Mister, Stevie/Stephie, and a chorus member (we all had to play multiple parts as the play is for a cast of 30 and we had 12 people.) I think the director was trying to get us to play the roles whose characters were the most opposite to our own...I know that was the case for one of mine. It was kind of fun though. I got to scream "WAR!!!" repeatedly and commit random acts of bigotry. Gasphorrorshock!

Well. Out for now. lmfao the mood pic! (I missed saying that o.o)

Well, I love my school.

Not really.

Just the fact that I have SIX WEEKS OFF FROM REGULAR CLASS KTHX.

And why is this?

I have 4 weeks of Immersion, in which only one subject is studied, and a subject of my own choice at that. (If you've ever been to Oberlin, they do something similar there.) Then I have 2 weeks of spring break.

I know, right?

I'm doing a theatre immersion, and we're doing this obscure musical called The Cradle Will Rock. Cast list goes up tomorrow. The music is really hard, like atonal and with ridiculous, overlapping rhythms. The characters are all absolutely over the top. I am really, really excited.

Although...something I'm not so excited about right now? I have a piano competition on Saturday. In Cincinnati. Normally, I like competing, but I just don't feel prepared enough right now...I need more time to practice, but I don't have any time. And then on my birthday (*wah*) I have Federation, which is like an evaluation thingy (I've done it for 10 years now, Unanimous Superior each time kthx). On March 18th I have Dayton Philharmonic competition (If the conductor doesn't let me perform with the orchestra, I will monopolize his competition for the next 3 years, and I won last year too. I will.) On April 7, 8, or 9, I have preliminary auditions for Cleveland's competition. Oh yeah, and on March 15th, I hear back from New York. May 11th, I hear from Tanglewood. ASLDFKJADSKFJA;SDFJ I will go absolutely mad, I tell you. Mad.

Well, we're reading The God of Small Things at school, better known as the Goddamn Small Things. I realize that this is actually supposed to be a really good book, etc, etc.

But I don't like it. >.>

There's this weird writing style in it in which one makes many fragments and capitalizes seemingly Random Things. Also, there are random words that runtogether. For example:
The taxi smelled of sleep. Old clothes rolled up. Damp towels. Armpits. It was, after all, the taxi driver's home. He lived in it. It was the only place he had to store his smells. The seats had been killed. Ripped. A swathe of dirty yellow sponge spilled out and shivered on the backseat like an immense jaundiced liver.
Or:
And so, behind the Refreshments Counter, in the Abhilash Talkies Princess Circle lobby, in the hall with Kerala's first 70mm CinemaScope screen, Esthappen Yako finished his free bottle of fizzed, lemon-flavored fear. His lemontoolemon, too cold. Too sweet. The fizz came up his nose. He would be given another bottle soon (free, fizzed fear). But he didn't know that yet. He held his sticky Other Hand away from his body.

You see? And in the beginning, it's cool. Like, for example, imagine there was someone who winked every time he said the word "the". At first, you'd notice the oddity and be all like "woah, okay." The next stage, you'd look for it, and you'd be slightly amused when your observation turned out to be true. At this point, it's still inoffensive. But after a while you'd be all, "OMG STOP WINKING WHEN YOU SAY 'THE,' D00D." It's the same with the weird writing style in this book. I swear the lady doesn't write a straight sentence in here. It just gets tiring to read, that's all.

Or maybe I'm like too young, or too unintelligent for this book, and it actually represents the meaning of life in some brilliant way or something.

Or maybe I read too much fantasy and am too used to flow-y long sentences. Haha.

So I'm back from Chicago/Model UN.

Don't know if we've won any awards yet; we skipped the Awards Ceremony (THANKGODPLZ) xD

Real update later. My brain is pretty much shot, and I've got a truly intimidating pile of work to do, so I'll pass the time by posting dumb quizzes:

( like these )

lkjsdlkfjd! lmfao the mood pic xD

Leaving for Chicago tomorrow. WOOT.

WOOOT. HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL.*

Hooray! //throws around popcorn &c//
It's the year of the Dog. xD




*That would be the Chinese/Lunar New Year, plz.
and lmfao the mood pic!

I don't write in here often 'cause it seems like there's nothing much to say other than that which has already been said. I have consequently come to the conclusion that perhaps my life is in fact very boring.

Oh, and Oe's Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids? It's all right. It's better than the last Japanese book we read, The Sound of Waves by Yukio Mishima. Wth. I hate World Lit, and the fact that it's a required course. If I wanted to read about an Asian version of Lord of the Flies, which I kind of didn't like either, then I would have - on my own. I realize there are a lot of people out there who need encouragement to read things but I, for one, am not among them. I don't like how I have to be all pretentious in class to get an A; just say something very sketch about how the recurring motif of birds represents human consciousness or something, and the battle is fought, the grade is gotten. Blakflkjhfasdljf. I used to really like English, but all this analysis is beginning to lose touch with reality, kind of. Not everything has to be allegorical. I like analysis, too...I like metaphor and symbolism and all that, but the class is taking it a bit to far, I think.

Bladflkjh.

That's my rant for the day. Or maybe the hour; it's still early. Haha.

Bless Cristina who has agreed to go to Chicago for Model UN with me so that I don't have to sit in a room for like 8 hours that's filled with what are reportedly snobbish, humorless people. Eeeeeek.

Well, I think I'll go for a run.

lmfao the mood pic.

*cries* I hate matrices! I have the entire problem right according to my lovely TI-89 Titanium EXCEPT FOR. ONE. COLUMN. WAAAAH.

And I really need the grade too; I'm doing so badly in math. ;.;


*weep*

Hey morganacirce,
Your mutual friend nomaidenfair has noticed that you last updated your journal on LiveJournal 1 week ago. Be a friend and go post.

The following message arrived in my inbox 11 hours ago.

LOL!

But I do suppose that I've been regretfully anti-el-jay lately. Well, off to make amends.

Incidentally, have any of you heard of Muse Machine? Well, there's the same program in Dayton, and they just put on their production of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I went to see it last night; I knew like 4 people in the cast. Anyway, it was FANTASTIC. My opinion of high school students has officially skyrocketed.

Or, my opinion of SOME high school students.

In other news, I'm all but failing math - receiving my worst grades ever. I'm seriously fearing for my grade here. However, I'm doing better in both Chem and Speech, which makes me immensely happy. English also. He has a new grading system in which he grades really lightly and then takes off points for each mechanical mistake, which, for me, is not an issue. Hurrah.

But now to announce the official BANE OF MY EXISTENCE:
*drumroll please*
ACCUTANE.
It is eating my life. Sure, it's cleared up my face, lalala, but OMG. I can't sing, I can't dance without massive bone aches after, and I get joint aches also from playing the piano. Can I get a wtf? I really hate its side effects. I also have back aches a lot, and stomachaches, and my ankle's starting to hurt again, and ugh...it's just not a good thing.
So apparently birth defects aren't Accutane's only sting.
Wah.

Well, off to flist. New headshot up soon.

lmfao the mood pic.